Breaking Bad Jr.

Radnor, Pa.-- I was robbed by a five-year-old with a suction cup bow-and-arrow -- right in front of my house! His Pikachu t-shirt hanging down to his knees, he pointed one of his rubber-tipped missiles at my head and demanded I give him what remained of my Snickers bar. It was humiliating. I asked if he had peanut allergies and he responded with some language I'm sure I didn't know at that age. I surrendered my half-eaten treat and tried to go back into my house, but the cops detained me. "Me?" I protested, "What about little Hunger Games Dillinger over there? If you hustle you can catch him driving away in his electric mini-Jeep. It only goes three miles an hour. Think you can handle that, Deputy Donuts?!!" I learned, once again, that is no way to talk to law enforcement. . . . . Shortly I will crack under pressure and tell them I made the whole thing up. My life. You do NOT want my problems.